whoa

its weird how much stuff has changed..

today i had to go to school and introduce myself to some students who were doing some scout stuff at school.. not quite sure how i fit into that program but i had to write up a little speech about why i was there and who i was and stuff like that.. im pretty sure the whole group were grade 12 and i probably wont see them again but it was a good moment.. of course half the things i said had to be translated and a lot of them didnt understand but i think they were happy to have someone from another country there..

as i was talking to all these students i realized how much i have grown not only since coming here but since high school and even the beginning of college.. i would have never been able to stand up in front of a hundred or so kids, more like peers since we are so close in age, and give a speech.. it may have helped knowing that they couldnt really understand me so i could say whatever i wanted but it was something that a few years ago i never could have done.. i amazed myself today.. i was extremely nervous going into it but right after i started speaking the nerves went away.. it was a good feeling..

now im just worried about teaching.. i dont want to be boring but im afraid i cant do as much as i planned because of the level of english.. i think its going to be a little tough trying to convince them all that english can be fun..

im also starting to see that im kind of a boring person.. hah.. when asked what my favorite is of anything i just shrug my shoulders.. i cant really think of anything as my favorite and i dont really feel that strongly about anything.. is that boring or am i just well rounded? advice is needed on this subject.. i feel boring..

the one plus was when someone asked me what my favorite indonesian food was and i said nasi pecel (rice and veggies with a peanut sauce).. the whole room burst into cheers.. which happens everytime i say that here in nganjuk but its just funny.. of course someone had to ask why.. well lets see.. being a vegitarian here doesnt have many options and thats one of the few things i can eat.. and of course i cant really say that even though thats one of the main reasons.. gahh kids and their questions.. its kind of like asking why do you like pasta or why do you like chicken.. i duno.. its a hard question..

i dunno today was a good day.. after the speech i went back and hung out in the teachers room and it was fun.. i really like the teachers.. they do joke a lot but it keeps the mood fun and i think ill need that some days.. i was told not to worry about teaching at all.. dont worry about how good you are or your quality and i laughed.. i mean.. im going to try hard but obviously they arent expecting me to change too much.. so i guess thats good.. i dunno not having very high expectations will allow me to hopefully impress them.. also joked around with them too.. they are going to try and speak to me only in indoneesian and only if i dont understand speak in english.. they want me to teach the teachers too.. apparently they are all excited to learn.. i think so maybe they can talk to me.. im supposed to teach them informal everyday english.. haha.. we will see how that works out.. not too much to teach there.. haha and i was also informed that the police would like to get in on this too.. oh boy.. the police from two different districts, the one that i live in and the one that i teach in, want to come and learn some english from me.. right now they are trying to figure out a schedule that works for all of them and then they will tell me.. looks like my world is going to revolve around other people haha.. but its all good.. seems like all these projects are falling into my lap.. hard to believe that a few weeks ago i was worried about other projects.. its funny how things fall into your lap.. now if only i can keep this enthusiasm.. i hope it doesnt wear out after three months.. it would be a shame to lose opportunties.. but again no use worrying about the future.. cant change it anyways..

so halfway through writing this i got pulled out to go to this little shindig up the street.. i can hear the music still i think its going to be going all night.. apparently is a little thing to promote drug awareness and to keep drugs off the street.. i didnt really know there was any issue with drugs in indonesia.. it seems like the penalty for having anything is really high so i dunno.. maybe there is a bunch of under ground stuff going on that i dont know about.. but the music is all traditional and its pretty much a lot of the stuff that i heard back in Malang.. my brother there loves this type of music but it was nice to hear it live.. i think i like the music a lot more than the singing.. the singing is too high pitched..

hm.. i also may have a friend haha.. there is this girl who stopped by the other day.. she graduated from my school and shes friends with one of the teachers daughters.. shes actually doing some english teaching somewhere and even though i know she wants to practice english i think shes pretty nice.. this is maybe someone who i could see talking to the entire time im here unless she leaves to pursue english somewhere else.. we shall see eh?

well i think i should hit the hay.. im dead tired.. today was a good day though.. cheers for more to come!

love you all :)

"Trying to predict the future is like trying to drive down a country road at night with no lights while looking out the back window"